Living the Quatoptian Way
by cgaussie
Summary: How did Jumba come to aqquire the DNA of some of the most feared aliens in the known galaxy? Well read on and find out, and please R&R. I'd appreciate it. Chapter Two is now up! Yay!
1. No Damsal in Distress

Living the Quatoptian Way  
Written by: Cartman's Girl  
  
Notes: Wow, a Lilo & Stitch fanfic which isn't a slashy one by me! I'm shocked. Well, Morgana Circe is my fancharacter who is of the same species as Jumba. I came up with a name for hteir species, Quatroptian. Four eyes, in a way I guess. Just how did Jumba get some of the DNA he used in his experiments? Read on.  
  
~*~  
  
Chapter One: No Damsal in Distress  
  
_I am not a pretty girl   
That is not what I do   
I ain't no damsel in distress   
And I don't need to be rescued   
so put me down punk   
Maybe you'd prefer a maiden fair   
Isn't there a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere   
  
I am not an angry girl   
But it seems like I've got everyone fooled   
Every time I say something they find hard to hear   
They chalk it up to my anger   
And never to their own fear   
And imagine you're a girl   
Just trying to finally come clean   
Knowing full well they'd prefer you   
Here dirty and smiling   
  
And I am sorry   
I am not a maiden fair   
And I am not a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere   
  
And generally my generation   
Wouldn't be caught dead working for the man   
And generally I agree with them   
Trouble is you gotta have yourself an alternate plan   
And I have earned my disillusionment   
  
I have been working all of my life   
And I am a patriot   
I have been fighting the good fight   
And what if there are no damsels in distress   
What if I knew that and I called your bluff?   
Don't you think every kitten figures out how to get down   
Whether or not you ever show up   
  
I am not a pretty girl   
I don't want to be a pretty girl   
No I want to be more than a pretty girl  
  
Not a Pretty Girl  
Ani DiFranco_  
  
~*~  
  
The wind was extremely strong that day on the distant planet known as Turo. The planet itself didn't have any actual natives, it was more of a planet which allowed aliens of all shapes and sizes to live, work, you get the idea. Sort of like Earth, but… very very different. More technology sound and so forth is one difference, and the inhabitants were indeed of different shapes and sizes. One of these aliens, was Morgana Circe. She closed her four eyes as the sharp wind whipped around the street corners.  
  
"Stupid weather." She muttered, since the chill was causing her hair (even if they were only five thick black straggled strands) whip around atop her head. The cold barely got to her, reason being her species was known for their tough hides and layers of fat. The fat was an insulator against the cold, sure it made hot days sort of hard to tolerate but she put up with it pretty well. Her muscles were another thing, very strong and very powerful. No alien would dare attack her, or anyone of her species and hope to survive.  
  
"Now where is that stupid address…" Morgana grumbled to herself as she placed two fingers down the front of her boob tube and pulled out a piece of paper. She held it up to her face, skimming over it. "South End… yess… South End." She stuffed the piece of paper back down between her rather large breasts and continued on her way. Most aliens who didn't know any better would wonder if she had leg cramp, but it wasn't her fault her species rarely moved their knees. You can blame heavy gravity for that.  
  
Soon the wind died down, and Turo continued on it's way spinning through the galaxy. Busy aliens rushed past Morgana on their way to work, home, council, or whatever. Not that she cared what other people did, as long as they didn't mess with her. Morgana was never one to socialize, the only ones she does socialize with were her boss'. And their shapes varied a lot. Sometimes they were a quarter her size, sometimes they stood above her like a tower. Being seven foot tall and bulky, all the aliens moved out of her way as she continued along the streets.  
  
Finally she arrived at the address, she looked up at it. The South End was known for their rich housing owners, so she wasn't surprised to see the location was atop one of the largest steeples. She entered the advanced looking elevator and hit the correct number. A second later she stepped out into a main lobby, well it looked like a main lobby. The walls were bare and naked looking, and only a clock sat on the wall. She put her arms behind her back, also over her powerful laser, and walked around the room slowly.   
  
Just the empty walls and a window which showed off the city. Distant lights flashed, but no sound was audible. Such heights do that. Her small ears perked as she heard a door slide open behind her and turned around. Well, one of her eyes raised it's eyebrow at the sight. A male Quatoptian, in other words, a male of her species entered the room. He had a darker hide compared to hers, and was about an inch shorter.  
  
"Dr. Jumba Jookiba?" she asked, her eyebrow lowering as he stopped before her. He nodded,  
  
"Yah, and you are the bounty hunter 'Morg'?" Jumba replied. He had expected something else, and probably something manly. Not a female of his species of all things. Morgana gave a sharp nod and held a hand out,  
  
"Morgana, bounty hunger extraordinaire." He shook her hand, and was surprised at how strong her grip was. Sure all Quatoptian's were strong, but she was a hint stronger then him. "Pleasure to meet you, boss." Jumba pulled his hand out of her grip, and rubbed it since now it hurt like the dickens.  
  
"Hmm well, come on through to my office." Jumba turned and walked from the room, Morgana gave the city one last glance and followed him. His office was more decorated. Certificates hung on the walls, photos of family and himself at graduation accompanied them. Some varied awards as well sat on the tall disc shelf. Jumba took a seat behind a large table, and Morgana sat down on the seat across from it.  
  
"Now, down to business. You are wondering why I hire you, eh?" Jumba asked, placing his two large hands together. Morgana blinked.  
  
"I rarely wonder what my bosses have in store for me, you'd be surprised at what I've done." Was her reply. Jumba blinked his eyelids at separate times, showing she'd caught him off guard with that one.  
  
"Ah well… ahem." He pressed a button on his desk, and the room grew dim. Then on the wall, flashed an image of an alien. For us humans it looks similar to a shark, though it's teeth are more larger then normal and it has legs and powerful arms.  
  
"Xytharian?" Morgana asked,  
  
"Ah you know your aliens, good." Jumba wagged a finger at her, and pressed another button. The image was replaced by yet another one. This seemed to be a blue ball of fur, but at closer inspection you'd see the fur was actually electricity. The slide show went on for a while, and Morgana began to notice a trend. Each and every alien pictured here was very dangerous. Extremely dangerous and deadly. Finally he stopped, and turned to her as the lights came back on.  
  
"So, as you can see. Dangerous, so dangerous the photos of such creatures are only found near remains of the photographers." Jumba said, "My research is diminishing, and I need more DNA to study. I need _you_ to get these aliens." He gestured a hand to her, though it seemed he was more gesturing to her chest. Big surprise. Morgana went silent for a while, and pursed her lips together.  
  
"How much are you willing to pay me?" she asked finally. Jumba smiled slightly,  
  
"Glad to see you are interested at least. I have been through ten hunters already and all leave after first image." Jumba then handed her a piece of paper, which she took. "That is the price I am willing to give you, but if you do well it might double." Morgana's eyes widened in surprise at the price.  
  
"This Jumba must be loaded…" she thought to herself. It was a _lot_ of money. And to double it… Morgana got control of herself again and put the paper down her boob tube again. "I accept your offer, Dr. Jookiba." She said, "I will bring you what you need." Jumba grinned and clapped his hands together.  
  
"Hah, excellent!" he stood up and walked around the desk, and shook her hands. "I am looking forward to when you return with my bounty!" Morgana smirked and shook his hands back before standing up.  
  
"I must say I have never seen a Doctor so enthusiastic about his work." She said. Jumba chuckled,  
  
"Oh yes, well my work is very special." He stared at her for a while, "Come! I will show you, since you are now working for me." Morgana looked slightly confused, but he grabbed her wrist and lead her through the door he had entered. The room was small, and plain. And cramp, for two very large aliens and all.  
  
"Well it isn't much of a laboratory… oh it's an elevator, I get it…" Morgana muttered the last bit, in an embarrassed tone. Jumba managed to push a button, and after a few seconds they pulled free of the elevator. The room was huge, really! Made the Super Dome seem half it's size. The walls were covered in metallic components, tables lined all the way around the room. Large canisters of glass were attached to the walls, liquid of different colours bubbling within. It was a mess, it really was. Papers all over the place, empty bowls of what used to contain food, tipped over cans… you could tell a man lived there. "Hrm. Homey." She said as she glanced at a pin-up poster. Jumba glanced at the poster, his ears lowering slightly.  
  
"Bah." He walked past her, by the wall and pulled it down and shoved it away. "Down here, I do my research and development. Hoping to come across my ultimate creation!" Jumba stated, stepping over a small pile of what looked like mud. Who knows what it was. Morgana stuck her tongue out and walked over it.  
  
"Seems interesting." She said.  
  
"Oh it's FAR more then just interesting!" Jumba turned to her, holding a finger up in exclamation. "It is sheer genius!" Morgana blinked, and moved his finger.  
  
"If you say so." Seemed even though Morgana showed next to not interest in this whole research thing, Jumba continued to rant. Could be because he was all alone in this place, well, that's what it looked like. To Morgana at least.  
  
"And this…" he walked up to a door, and looked back at her. "Is my experiments." With that the door slid open. Morgana walked into the room, and raised all eyebrows in surprise. The room seemed to have around 50 small oddly shaped animals lying about. Some were talking in some bizarre alien speak with another, a few others were eating and some were just lounging around.  
  
"Oh…" she just said. Woman of many words, wasn't she?  
  
"Aren't they beautiful?" Jumba asked, leaning down and picking up what looked like a cat. Only difference was it's ears were too big and had one eye. Also being purple threw it off.  
  
"They're something…" Morgana said, as the one eyed cat blinked at her. It hissed and leapt out of Jumba's hands and scurried away. Not before crashing into a stool.  
  
"You see, I am trying to create ultimate creation. One that is powerful in mind, body and spirit. But, as you can see… so far my experiments have been… eh… bad." Jumba had tried to think of a better explanation for them, but that was the best he could come up with. Morgana nodded slightly, and looked down to see a blue fur ball rubbing up against her leg. It had yellow squares on it's fur and seemed to be purring happily. "Ey, get outta here Experiment 47!" Jumba waved a hand at the fluff ball. It squeaked and scurried out of sight. "You see, you are the first they have seen besides their creator." Jumba explained, "Might be why they are so interested."  
  
"Hmm, I thought." Morgana nodded, glancing at a few of the experiments who were watching her intently. She smiled slightly, some of them were deformed, but in a way they were still sort of cute. She looked at Jumba, "So you've ran out of DNA to use on your experiments, so that is why I am to go and fetch aliens?" she asked. Jumba nodded,  
  
"Indeed. I've only had one dangerous DNA sample to work with, and I need much more. Do you think you are really up to it?" Jumba asked. One thing, she was female and a Quatoptian. Quatoptian's weren't really known for their speed or agility. Morgana smirked, and reached behind her back and pulled out her laser. It was long, and thick as well as shiny. She held it in her hands, then leant it on her shoulder.  
  
"I am capable of anything, boss." She replied, before pressing a button on her wrist watch. Then a visor flipped out from seemingly nowhere and snapped down in front of her left eyes, to assist her in her far away visionary shoots. "I will get your aliens, boss. Or I'll eat my shoes, and if you know where my shoes been, you'd be disgusted." Jumba only glanced at her feet.  
  
"Right…"  
  
[To be continued! Woo, ain't it neat??]


	2. Not Easy to be Me

Living the Quatoptian Way  
Written by: Cartman's Girl  
  
Notes: Well it continues! Some more Jumba now, and a little less Morgana. And, Jaikabi belongs to Bonnie. ^_^  
  
~*~  
  
Chapter Two: Not easy to be Me  
  
_I can't stand to fly  
I'm not that naïve  
I'm just out to find  
The better part of me  
  
I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane  
More than some pretty face beside a train  
It's not easy to be me   
  
Wish that I could cry  
Fall upon my knees  
Find a way to lie  
About a home I'll never see   
  
It may sound absurd, but don't be naïve  
Even Heroes have the right to bleed  
I may be disturbed, but won't you concede  
Even Heroes have the right to dream  
It's not easy to be me   
  
Up, up and away, away from me  
It's all right  
You can all sleep sound tonight  
I'm not crazy, or anything   
  
I can't stand to fly  
I'm not that naïve  
Men weren't meant to ride  
With clouds between their knees  
  
I'm only a man in a silly red sheet  
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street  
Only a man in a funny red sheet  
Looking for special things inside of me  
  
It's not easy to be me  
  
It's not Easy (Superman)  
Five for Fighting  
_  
Jumba shown Morgana out of his laboratory. Back into the too cramp elevator.  
  
"I knew I should have made it larger…" Jumba muttered to himself as Morgana stepped inside. He sighed, and walked in after her. Quatoptian's were large by nature, so trying to fit two large aliens into a small confined area is mostly difficult. Though, he didn't really _mind_ being up against a female. He'd never been accepted that much. Morgana stared at him, then jabbed him in the side.  
  
"Press the button." She said, nope she wasn't one for small places either. Jumba awoke from his thinking,  
  
"Right sorry." He pressed the button. The lights flickered slightly, and Jumba's ears lowered slightly. "Uh oh."  
  
"Uh oh?" Morgana raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Ehm, nothing! It's nothing…" Jumba muttered and pressed the button again. A few seconds past, and Morgana glared at him.  
  
"We're stuck, aren't we?"  
  
"In a way… yes." Jumba said. Morgana groaned, and managed to move to the side, and smack the button. And denting the metal at the same instance. Jumba glanced up at the ceiling.  
  
"Maybe if we jump at the same time it'll work…" he said,  
  
"And maybe we'll fall to our deaths on the cold hard solid ground below." Morgana said, managing to fold her arms over her chest. Jumba stared at her slightly, then looked away quickly.  
  
"Is it just me or is it getting hot in here?" he asked quietly,  
  
"No, it isn't." Morgana replied. Jumba then got an idea, and glanced to the ground.  
  
"The experiments!"  
  
"What about them?" Morgana unfolded her arms.  
  
"They'd be able to hear us and help us, that's what." Jumba said, Morgana made an 'oh' face. "Okay then." He took a deep breath and cleared his throat. "HALP!" Morgana cringed at the shouting. What an interesting day this is turning out to be… down in the lab Experiment 12, who had long hanging ears blinked it's eyes. One ear perked up.  
  
"Doc?" she said in her own growl talk. The other experiments looked over at her, and she scrambled across the floor to the elevator door. She placed her large ear against the door, making 'Hmmm!' sounds now and then. A few of the experiments gathered around her, then she turned to them. "Doc's stuck in the lift with the lady!" she said. The experiments stared at her, then burst into immature giggles of glee. She rolled her eyes. Experiment 47 walked up, and sniffed at the elevator.  
  
"The cables are twisted!" he squeaked in his funny little voice. Experiment 5 blinked one of it's three eyes.  
  
"So how do we fix that?" he asked. 47 thought for a while, then looked over to Experiment 27. "27! C'mon over here!" Experiment 27 was a skinny helpless looking thing. Only difference was his arms and hands were HUGE. He walked – using his hands – over to the group.  
  
"Wassup?" he asked. Experiment 12 explained, and winced as she heard Morgana scream something at Jumba about watching where his hands went. Jumba apologised hastily, and kept his hands to his side. He was sort of pressed against her front, yet side. He took a deep breath, and shut his eyes.  
  
"Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts." Why was he thinking this? Well, in Jumba's species big _is_ beautiful. Bigger the female is, the more beautiful she is. And Morgana was both big _and_ beautiful. Images of unsexy things – to him at least – flashed before his shut eyes. Say, Britney Spears, Pamela Anderson, Kate Moss… suddenly the elevator gave a great shove, and continued ascending. A cluster of cheers from the experiments could be heard.  
  
"Gimmie high five 27!" Experiment 47 cried, but soon found himself flung across the room due to the huge hand. The door opened, and Jumba fell out and slammed onto the ground. Morgana stepped over him, and bent down slightly at the hips to stare down at him.  
  
"I'm off now, I'll return as soon as I can with the first batch." With that she left, leaving Jumba on the ground. Soon Jumba got to his feet, dusting his lab coat off.  
  
"Well… that was interesting…" he said to himself, then walked to one of the bare walls and pressed his hand up to it. His hand sunk into the wall, and then it opened! Wow, secret entrance. He walks into it, and the door shuts behind him. Soon enough Jumba walks out into another laboratory. This one was smaller then the one which held all the experiments, and darker. He walked up to a large monitor and sat on a specially fitted seat for his body.  
  
"Back to work…" he muttered, and hit an ON button. The screen flickered to life with what looked like E-Bay, but was Scientist Bidding. This was where scientists the galaxy over found the right equipment. "Now.. Nutron Blaster Corbon System X30…" Jumba said to himself as he typed it into the search engine. He waited, "Stupid slow modem." He cursed. Jumba was working on something big, something that would make his work much more easier. Since he had started his work, he'd been forced to get selected DNA and mix them together and grow them within eggs. A few times he had even included some of his own DNA, to fill in empty links and what not.  
  
What he was working on, was what he was to call the Jumbatron 6000. After himself, and because 6000 is a big number. In it would be a database of all the DNA Morgana would collect for him, and organic matter which will all combine with a flick of the switch. Then he wouldn't waste so much time on so many failures. It hurt him, more then they realised, when he watched a new creation die before it could even properly live. That had happen one too many times for him, because of it he had been kicked out of numerous Schooling Facilities. No one ever appreciated his genius, and his idea of creating ultimate life forms. A creation to have at your beck and call and have them do whatever you wanted.   
  
Some life forms had asked him, those who knew of his work, why he was doing this. It was simple, but Jumba would never really say why. Revenge. Back when Jumba was only a few cycles old he used to live happily on his home planet Quainst. His species lived, but one day that peace was disrupted. The Sleekers attacked, for no reason other then wanting their planet for their own. War raged for years, and Jumba lost most of his family. His Mother smartly left the planet, but his Father was in the war. They'd plan to meet on Turo once he'd be able to leave the platoon.   
  
It still upset Jumba when he thought of it, the day his Mother was told that his Father had perished when the planet had died. There had been stress put onto the planet, far too much then it was able to handle. It had already been under pressure due to the heavy gravity. Quainst was no more now, and Jumba wanted his ultimate creation so it wouldn't happen again. Sure the Galactic Council was around, but they were back then… and they did nothing.  
  
He blinked out of his thoughts and sat up. There was no time to just sit there wasting time. Jumba had a lot of work to do, he was far away from his ultimate creation, he knew that much. But many years of preparing will not go unfulfilled. He wouldn't allow fate to ruin his dream, it was about time he'd get a mark to his name. It was about time.  
  
~*~  
  
Morgana was looking down the barrel of a triple Y Gontage blaster. One of the latest technology fetes for the Bounty Hunter market. It was long, silver, with red streaks along the base and nozzle. She smiled to herself and nodded. She'd take this one, she knew she'd need it for the Xytharian of all things. She made her way up to the counter, there an octopus-like alien was at work.  
  
"Is that all Ms. C?" he asked. He knew Morgana well, she'd been looking into purchasing her weaponry from his store since she was old enough to get her pass. Morgana nodded,  
  
"That's all for today Widge." She said, searching for some money in her belt compartment. "I'm off on a big job, for big cash." She just said as she handed him the space money. He took it with one tentacle, and gave her change with another.  
  
"Good luck then." He said.  
  
"I'm not the one who needs luck, Widge." She picked up her new 'toy' and shoved it into her laser holder which was strapped to her back. "It's my prey who needs luck." With that she turned and walked from the store. Outside aliens were reading a few newspapers, and she made her way past an Entertainment Store. Sshe stopped, and looked at the news flash.  
  
"…and so Jaikabi the 'Planet Killer' is still at large. If anyone has any information leading to the capture of this menace please contact your nearest Council District." The news had been ablaze ever since that girl had set off bombs and had sent her planet's moon hurtling into her home planet. Morgana shook her head,  
  
"What is the galaxy coming to? I could have hunted game there." She muttered, then continued on her way. She was now on her way to the Space Port. She'd have to rent a Space Cruiser, cause there was no way in the galaxy she'd walk to where she was expected to go. It'd take her a million or so years to reach it.  
  
Course, there'd go all the cash from her last job. She hated parting with her money, it hurt. Without money she couldn't afford food, shelter or anything. But, it wouldn't be long. It wouldn't take her that long to bag a few of the aliens Jumba wanted, return, get some deposit then go off again. He wanted a lot, and I mean a _lot_ of DNA samples.  
  
This was gonna be some job. And she knew she was going to love it.  
  
[To be continued!]


End file.
